No Holiday Brag Sheets Please ...

Another Christmas and New Year has come and gone!  I did a quick first round clean-up last week, but I'm still wading through a few Christmas bags and bows.  And my Christmas tree is still standing in a corner stripped of its festive ornaments and gold angel top.  It's so cold outside that neither me or my husband have volunteered to drag the darn thing back to the shed.

So who knows how long it will remain in my great room! 

But I just can't discard all the beautiful Christmas cards folks take the time and expense to send our way.  I absolutely love receiving holiday photos of families ranging from newborns to college age. I keep those photo cards well after Christmas to peruse and enjoy. I also welcome a brief year-end update.   

Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way about some of the extensive newsletters slipped into the cards.

Let me clarify this.  I enjoy a good family update when it's informative and/or funny and/or thoughtfully done. I'm thrilled when friends travel and mention that special trip to Italy or Ireland or even Disneyworld.

I want to hear highlights about what the kids and adults are doing and any major accomplishments.  I also appreciate hearing updates when it relates to a family member's health or recovery from illness or landing a new job.  That is important stuff!

I am not the grinch.


However, a brag sheet detailing all of the children's mundane activities and every single solitary accomplishment is inappropriate and a very boring and irritating read. I also don't think it's appropriate to elaborate on the many lavish trips you've taken during a single year (especially in this horrible recession), while your friends and family are looking for jobs and having difficulty putting food on the table. 

Let's also keep in mind that some of our friends and family might be encountering difficulties with their own children and sensitivity to that during the holiday is more in keeping with the spirit of the season!

I admit that there is a fine line here.  So when in doubt use some discretion and be humble ... 

Putting all this aside, I'd like to share with you our favorite Christmas newsletter that we received this past holiday season.  Our friend "Finn" writes the best Christmas updates each year.   I eagerly wait at my mailbox to receive his year-end summary.  I have changed the names to protect the innocent ... 

For your reading pleasure, here it is:

Merry Christmas!  Another decade has come and gone and we wish you a wonderful Christmas and an exciting New Year.

2009--The year in review:

1) Overzealous local photo center supersizes this year's Christmas cards, turning Sarah and Miles into poster children.

2) Water boarding banned by U.S. government.  Miles takes up drums.

3) University of North Carolina wins another NCAA men's basketball championship.  Duke does not.

4) During field trip to Gettysburg, Miles and 5th grade classmates outflank Finn and other chaperones at Little Round Top, take the bus driver hostage, and cut a swath of destruction across the southeast that would make General Sherman proud.

5) Family bikes the Virginia Creeper, a beautiful downhill trail along an old railroad bed.  Things turn ugly when Finn's spandex bike shorts burst at the seams, injuring innocent bystanders.

6) Finn junks 20 year-old car under Cash for Clunkers program.  As 20th wedding anniversary approaches in 2010, Dawn looks at government incentives.

7) Sarah starts high school, joins the golf team, and becomes a Greensboro Grimsley Whirlie.  The term "Whirlie"  is derived from the Latin word whirlio which means "lots of homework."

8) Having lost one work glove, Finn's rhythmic leaf-raking in the front yard is mistaken by neighbors as the ghost of a moon-walking Michael Jackson.  A crowd gathers, but no one offers to help rake.

9) Dawn attends her weekly Bible study and continues to scrapbook important family events such as taking out the trash and flossing.  She denies any involvement with Tiger Woods.

Well done, Finn!